What's on the Mind of a 5-year-old?

Thing 1: What is today? Are we going somewhere today? What are we doing today?

Thing 1: What is tomorrow, Mom? What are we doing tomorrow?
Mom: Tomorrow is Tuesday. What do we do every Tuesday?
Thing 1: (indignantly) I don't know! Are we going somewhere?
Poongin: It's Meals on Wheels, Thing 1.
Thing 1: Are we doing anything else tomorrow? Are we going somewhere besides Meals on Wheels?
Mom: Yes! (pausing for great effect) We're going to go buy a tent tomorrow! (ta da!)
Thing 1: (no reaction)

Thing 1: Whatcha doin', Mom?
Mom: Cleaning the bathroom.
Thing 1: Ooh, I want to help! Can I help you?
Mom: Of course. Why don't you start with restocking our band-aid holder.
Thing 1: (sitting on bathroom floor, stuffing band-aids into holder) I'm hot. I think I'll take my shirt off. (smiling a secret smile, taking long sleeve shirt off to reveal -gasp!- a shirt underneath)
Thing 1: Yep, it's hot. I think I'll take my pants off, too. (now giggling and stepping out of pants to reveal -gasp!- shorts underneath)
Mom: (appropriate reaction to Thing 1's clever layering idea)
Thing 1: (scooping up clothes and dashing away after Thing 2)
Mom: (picking up band-aids spread all over bathroom rug)

Thing 1: (walking by with bag of change earned from helping mom clean out purse) Mom, my money is dirty. I'm going to wash it in the sink.
Mom: (blink, blink, blink) Um, okay.
Thing 1: (methodically washing and drying coins and disappearing with them again)
Mom: ????

Thing 1: Mom, what's tomorrow? What are we doing tomorrow?
Mom: Tomorrow is Tuesday. We do Meals on Wheels on Tuesdays.
Thing 1: Oh, yeah. What are we doing after Tuesday?
Mom: Today is Monday, tomorrow is Tuesday, then comes Wednesday. Wednesday is Park Day.
Thing 1: Are we doing anything on Wednesday?
Mom: Well, I imagine we'll be going to the park.
Thing 1: Oh. Well, are we going anywhere else after the park?
Mom: Park Day usually takes the whole day, honey.
Thing 1: What about after Park Day? Are we going to do something?
Mom: That'll be Thursday. Maybe we can do something on Thursday.
Thing 1: (off to torment Thing 2)

Thing 1: You know, Mom, sometimes Rolthox is nice and sometimes he's mean. But it's just cause he's mean, he's not trying to be mean, it's just the way he is. But sometimes he's nice.

Daddy arrives home and settles on the couch.
Thing 1: (loudly announcing in a very staged voice) Gosh, I think I'm going to take my shirt off. (repeatedly beginning to pull shirt off while waiting for Daddy to realize this is all for his benefit)
Mommy pokes Daddy and clues him in. Thing 1 dramatically reveals her cunning idea of wearing two changes of clothes at once. Daddy is properly impressed.

Thing 1: Whatcha' doin'?
Mom: (figures taking a shower is pretty self explanatory)
Thing 1: (peeking around curtain) Oh, you're soaping up.
Mom: Yep.
Thing 1: (quietly humming and singing as showering comes to an end)
Mom: (drying off and stepping out) What are *you* doing?
Thing 1: (now free of both changes of clothes and spinning in circles wearing only underwear) I'm in here where it's nice and warm! You're going to wrap that towel around your hair aren't you?
Mom: Sure am.
Thing 1: That soaks up all the water out of your hair.
Mom: It sure does.
****Can you guess what's coming next?****
Thing 1: Mom, what are we doing tomorrow?
Mom: Aaagh! Thing 1!
Thing 1: Oh! No, wait! I remember!
Mom: (smiling sweetly) Thing 1, if you ask me what we're doing tomorrow one more time, I'm going to place you in the toilet and flush it.
Thing 1: (giggling wildly and dashing away)

And finally, the entire time I've been typing she has been layering my arm with stickers and has proclaimed me Sticker Master (or Master Sticker, whichever I prefer).